Throne of Blood [Ep. 3] [LeStar Studios]

Writing is really bad. And i don’t mean bad english, it is clearly written someone with no idea of how adults talk and act. Maker of the game should have started with highschool game. But Mafia story where people talk like 15 year olds is just too gringe. If this is written by woman to women, that could explain some of it. I hear “fifty shades of gray” was bad, but still loved by many women. Different taste for different genders, i guess.

Sex scenes are good and women are ok looking. But not so good that it is worth the download. Just watch better CGI on any porn site if that is what you are looking for. 1/5

Just from what I’ve played so far: There are 2 MAIN characters – and WAY too many girls with “external attachments” (by which I mean way too many potential NTR cases)

You have Jenna (and you ARE NOT being clear about how the male MC GETS THE GIRL!!! (FUCK THE NEPHEW. HE’S NOT THE MAIN CHARACTER) Then you have the waitress Sofia – in the exact same position. I don’t care if Randy’s Captain fucking America; HE DOES NOT GET THE GIRL! [Make the choices STRAIGHTFORWARD]

Female MC should NOT have Femdom bullshit attached to her – you CAN lead everywhere else BUT the bedroom; and still be a SUB in the bedroom. Jesus. If you want the two MC’s to hook up and be the power couple (as very likely the true or best ending…) then you need to be aware that if you make the Male MC DOMINANT = The Girl MC does NOT get to be DOMINANT. (Also Jesus Fucking Christ but there is too much Femdom leaning – it’s NOT to most peoples’ tastes, and there’d BETTER not be consequences for pursuing multiple girls. That would just be assholish on your part)

There are too many choices that SEEM LIKE THEY CAN SCREW YOU OVER. Binary choices are not bad; binary choices where you don’t know what the right answer is ends up leading to too many game over screens. Color Code things for fuck sakes. Or make multiple ends that have DIFFERENT PATHS = but ARE NOT necessarily BAD ENDINGS. Either works to solve concerns about punitive consequences in choices. Both would encourage replayability in the long run. If there is a partner for example (the fucking Hollywood bitch – DOES NOT GET TO COMPETE FOR DOMINANCE WITH THE MAIN IF SHE WANTS TO GET WHAT SHE WANTS: You literally JUST showed a memory scene of MC very likely divorcing himself from a college bitch that tried the same damned thing. So DO NOT MAKE IT POSSIBLE! That’s literally why I did not choose to let Vincent handle the girl; I knew you’d write him to roll the fuck over because you WANT HER TO BE FEMDOM CONTENT) then make it BENEFICIAL. If there is a girl COP = Give me a way to CLEARLY WOO HER. There’s no need for cat and mouse. This SHOULD be a harem style – or a harem lite game. He’s going to need to make connections; and some of those females (Yes, I think MIKE should be added to that list…) will be very useful. Everyone already knows him and “his games” so none of the girls should need to be jealous. Since if they “play his way” and give him what he wants [and this goes DOUBLE for Fem MC by the way] he will give them what they want (Which should mostly be his dick; his commitment to their well being and his children)

This does have potential as a political intrigue, but calm down on all the factions. First because you will likely convolute the story and perhaps lose track of things far more easily, and also because you’re just as likely to make the audiences’ head swim trying to figure out the right answers to win. Neither is a good thing. You’ve introduced the main factions in the Families. You’ve got the cops. You’ve already introduced some shadow bitch and a mole with James… too many cooks in the kitchen is going to spoil the meal mate. This is gearing up to a potential harem – and frankly even if you never make it one, it’s a VN style game. It’s not dark souls. It shouldn’t be complicated. Yes, the MC’s ARE going to win. Perhaps at cost due to some flubbed choices – Perhaps not. HOW they win should be what you’re concerned about writing. Not whether they are going to.

🙂