Dawn of Malice [v0.12a] [Whiteleaf Studio]

So, having played further into the game, it’s still kinda dickish that you don’t actually give the MC at least an option to CHOOSE to do anything about the Chathulu thing… but to me the larger problem is the “meta” this is just a simulation idea.

First: I am glad that Hunter is randomly okay. She wasn’t even NTR’d off screen (though bracketing that won’t happen would ease players’ concerns on that point – it’s a cheap shot for tension) And while we’re on it so is Mary. However the very fact that you tried to be meta with “the matrix” BS kills any tension in caring about what happens. I do like the option of playing Pinnochio, but there are some issues I’ll bring up with it.

* You have a harem. Currently standing at 4 members on Neutral play through (with a couple evil choices to lead to Riley so I’m not actually sure I stayed neutral – which might be nice to have shown somewhere to be certain) I’m technically being asked to slay a “god.” Who is stated to be a real creature. Not like me. In a simulation, as someone who can be (but isn’t necessarily if you think about it for 2 seconds, Neo) I am also being asked BY that God, to only pretend I did. That leaves me at the crux point of which one I will do, and figuring I will be screwed either way. So I’d say; Don’t. No matter which I pick – it’s a HAREM. I get both girls, the scientist, and the god. [It’s not greedy, it’s the GENRE] You can actually have the god be so pleased that she will just give the scientist to MC to “punish” (knowing full well how he will) and with her being pleased that he’s “devoted” to her, so she will reward him. Sexually. Even to the point of joining the harem. There was also a point I was given a choice to be careful and prepare, or to go find Mary Immediately; you take the smart option and Hunter is “disappointed” [BUT it DOES NOT tell you what the choice will do – so no one knows whic one is the RIGHT ONE. I hate that. So. Much. It would not take too much more effort to code in to show me the effects of my actual choices available, especially if you’re going to tell me they MATTER] IF you go with the Leeroy Jenkins! Option, you still DON’T find Mary… and she just appears at your door like 4 days later. (It could be 28 and she would be a rage zombie, but that would be assholish of me… then again, I didn’t pull the Cathulu card here, did I?)

One thing about that though, if they go to the “real” world, how would they finangle the relationships they all have. If you’re going to do the “self determination” idea; you may well bork the whole Harem Concept. There’s the fact MC could only legally marry one girl, which could create a dilemma for girls like Hunter & Winter… I can see it coming. ** Yes, I had to get a game of thrones reference in, sue me. [Though you can get around that, technically with Hand-Fasting; so one is the legal wife, and all the rest are wives of the heart] Which is probably what a good chunk of your audience is here for. So I’d handle that very, VERY carefully. Do not go until MC has Ashley and the teacher included. (I did find it weird that she gets one sex scene we see; with another character, and MC promises to go visit her and so far NIL = SHE. IS. ON. THE. MAIN. SCREEN! She does not get to NOT be part of the harem, and no I don’t care what karmic path the MC takes at the beginning. If you put them on the title screen, they’re in it. Not debatable.) I have the same problem with Ashley. You gave the MC at best a hand job and a blow job scene and then she just up and vanishes. Did she fart into the wind? Maybe she’s gone with it; or has a cousin named Maybeline she was born with? Either way, what gives…

You CAN however ask if a harem is something the MC wants, especially on the “Good Boy” path. That I would find an appropriate deliniation. On the Evil; he’s mostly willing to use them for his own purpose AND/OR work with the scientist directly – to Breed Em All! (I’d even make it so that he effectively hopes to find a way to chain the god, and make her his sex slave at the end… because EVIL) Like I said in previous post, the karmic consequence should be about how MC wants to approach relationships with his women. Not which ones he will or won’t get. I haven’t played either Good full through, or even touched Evil yet… so I can’t comment on where you go directionally with them. These are more suggestions. As reiterated, I do very much appreciate the artwork. The focus on breeding is hot for my two cents… but I also think it’s a bit weird that MC’s been fucking 4 women and so far to the end of current update only one of them has thought to take a pregnancy test – when 3 of the 4 have said at some point, they were ovulating during sex. (I’m assuming of course they will all get there. Eventually)

However, that brings up my last point as I know no one wants to read war and peace from an opinionated mouthpiece.
In the Real World, as a “real boy” MC’s going to need a house. A job to feed their growing family (since all the girls should properly decide to stay with him romantically and sort out their place in his harem) He doesn’t have to be the sole provider of course, unless he somehow wins the lottery [Which statistically ends badly in almost every case, so it’s really not that lucky] There are considerations to be made for a stable plot and a good end to the story. Or even it’s continuance in suspension of disbelief is all I’m saying. Despite the fact I take issue with some story plots I think were designed to fuck with the player’s head (which is really all H.P. Lovecraft really meant to do with the concept of “elder ones” as far as I can tell) the writing here is decent to very good. I will be willing to give you the chance to show me where you go with it. Still on guard, but then, so was the white rabbit. (And please; don’t make the Yellow God end up being code for urination content > . < )