Personal Assistant: Blackheart Edition [v0.7] [Blackheart Games]

First, and for the first and I’d hope only time, I will say I DO NOT want to do a detailed review of this game. I do not at all think it deserves one. However, playing through to the end of this current update has actively pissed me off so fiercely that I will probably not be able to help going off on several tangents. What I will do is list everything wrong about the game in structure. From story arcs to characters in general. I’m not asking any of you to agree with me, I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if you do quite frankly, and you can all keep your TL;DR comments to yourself if you’re not going to bother reading it anyway. I’m not in the fucking mood.

First and foremost: HAREM. It’s in the tags. It’s what you set this game up to be, but if you as the dev are the writer, or you have someone else doing it; seek help. Immediately. You have no bloody idea how much I hate to say that but Jesus – doesn’t love me, you DIPSHIT – and that has NO place for the main girl in a HAREM. We’ll get to her by the way, don’t you fucking worry. There are three things you DO NOT EVER do in the harem genre. One: Injure the girls to the point their lives are threatened. Two: Seperate the girls once the harem is actively formed from the MC. Three: Make me question where the focus of the girls actually is. We’re going to cover all of these. Perhaps more extensively than you guys ever seem to want to bother reading for the most part.

Story: The MC is INSANE. He KILLED HIS WIFE. That’s it. He broke her damned neck, and left her there. This BULLSHIT character of Father (who does not need to exist and SHOULD NOT BE OMNISCIENT JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FUCK THE MC OVER) CANNOT fix a broken goddamned neck. You did not stipulate magic exists in this world you retards. The BEST that she could ever possibly be IF you ever decide to stop dicking the audience around about her is paralyzed permanently from the neck down. Which by the way is the ONLY way she wouldn’t automatically leave again. The Slave mechanic DID NOT need to be there; and if it was going to be BDSM. Only. I do not need to see a prostitution ring I got no choice to tell you as the DEVS to fuck off about. He can have done that shit IN THE PAST if I say I do NOT want sharing content, and will NEVER SHARE MY GIRLS! I kept two of them that I liked, and it doesn’t fucking matter because there’s exactly one scene where he “samples” the goods and they may as well not ever be in the story again. It’s BULLSHIT. There are other ways a supposed Hacker could have made a fucking fortune. It’s not morally questionable. It’s just assholish. There’s the idea of his dead daughter that ties to another character we’re going to get to, who again; DOES NOT NEED TO BE IN THE GAME! Not beyond mentions if you really insist on having so fucked up a backstory. You DID NOT need to injure MC FURTHER… just because you want this FATHER asshole to seem all powerful. Fuck. You. Entirely, for that point. He was already “disabled” enough to hire two girls (and we’re going to get to the questionable parentage bullshit with them as well, but they aren’t the only ones who have the flag and we haven’t gotten to his “actual” daughter yet…) to help him out. Whom he was apparently aware of for years: Why?!? Did not need to be in the game and makes him come off as a true creep for no fucking reason. Whatever the fuck he did or has over their mother should be shared with the player. I don’t give a crap if it’s in brackets, in a flash back which you are way too goddamned fond of and actively breaks the flow of the story (NOT TO MENTION YOU SKIPPED FIVE FUCKING MONTHS WHERE THE GIRLS WERE JUST ABANDONED – and it DIRECTLY IMPACTED ONE OF THE FEMALES WHO SHOULD BE IN THE HAREM!) You. NEED. To. Stop. TRYING. To. Fuck. With. Your. Audience’s. Mind. You COLOSSAL DUMBASS!

* There are supposed to be TWO paths. Love route, and Controlling. Guess what there’s not. It’s controlling, even if you’re ON the “love” route. Because I don’t think the fuckwit writing this understands what love even is. Here’s why…

The MAIN GIRL: Rachael, straight up would be in every way shape and form, absolutely opposed to EVERYTHING the MC actually wants to build around them. The harem to start. Sex in general as a “church girl.” (Who again, does not belong in a fucking harem) There is a difference between genuinely soft hearted, good natured and naive – and how you have written this quasi religious zealot JUST to cock block the audience for fucking THE ENTIRE DAMNED GAME SO FAR. She even abandons the MC and tries to get her sister away from him because YOU DIDN’T PROPERLY EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK “DEPRAVITY” EVEN DOES. It mentions that depravity affects what they will let you do with them, but here’s the thing, I put hers up near as high as it could get while still trying to be nice to her because I chose the love route… SHE. STILL. LEFT. Why?!? Because Corruption, is NOT Depravity. Depravity can lead to corruption, genius’. It does not automatically mean one is corrrupt. Nor does being corrupt automatically make one depraved. I really wish you morons would stop having a corruption bar in any sort of Harem game. She can do the things she does because she GENUINELY is in love with MC. Not because he asserts several times despite her obvious discomfort with constantly being overly sexualized by the MC, that she must love him. I want to smash your head into my desk so hard and so many times you end up in your own five month comas, just because you don’t seem to get that concept. Rachael DOES NOT get to be uber possessive. We’re also going to get to that, because TOO MANY GIRLS ARE. It’s a fucking Harem. You DID NOT MARK SHARING OR NTR IN THE TAGS. THEY SHOULD NOT BE A DIVISION OF THE GAME AT ALL.

Mandy: Does NOT need to be in the game. Nor does Beth. We’ll get to her. Why? So many reasons it’s not even fucking funny, but mainly because you wrote her to NEVER FUCKING LISTEN TO THE MC. There’s only so many times she can fuck up royally, and say I’m sorry; and then keep doing it before I as a REAL PERSON would straight up just put her through a damned wall. She belongs in an insane asylum; and I cannot express how very much I HATE saying that. They are not fun. She did NOT need to be Schitzophrenic. At all. Her dead sister is dead yeah; great. Mention it once, and FUCK RIGHT OFF. She DOES NOT get to run counter to EVERY. SINGLE. COMMAND. THE MC. GIVES. Then keep getting away with it because she’s a bloody abused puppy. You troglodytes. She does NOT get to “sleep sex” (RAPE) the MC and then YOU AS DEVS INSULT THE PLAYER who chose FROM THE BEGINNING – NOT to engage with that content. Beta/Cuck MY ASS! I WANT CONTROL OF ALL SEXUAL CONTENT/CONGRESS. I would KILL anyone that tried to do what you insist she should be allowed to do, to me in real life. I would not think about it, and THE WOMAN SHOULD ONLY GET CONTROL IF I SAY SO. It’s called Dominance. you dumb redneck bro cultured fucktard. I happen to NEED control in that area, and I do not like ever giving it away. That does NOT make me weak. It makes her broken in the worst way if she does not know how to OBEY. I will personally beat the shit out of you with a crowbar just for that little comment if I ever find you in real life. We’ll see which of us is a “beta” you morons. YOU. NEVER. INSULT. YOUR. POTENTIAL. SUBS. That’s just bad for business. You do NOT know who the fuck you are talking to, or how they will take it. It’s juvenile. So let’s leave it for now at if I find you, I’ll do to your legs exactly what you did to the MC’s when Father found him. How’s that sound?

Beth: Fuck. Yandere. As a Concept in general. As a thing that ever existed at all. Fuck crazy girls. Fuck you for even remotely suggesting she can be “fixed” if she was ever that broken – and FUCK BOTH MANDY AND BETH for what happened to Susan (WHO DID NOT NEED TO BE YEETED OUT OF THE GAME AND PROMISED TO RETURN IF THAT BULLSHIT WAS WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO PULL!!! We’re going to get to her soon enough, don’t worry. There IS a problem with her beyond just what you did to her at the end of this update) Beth should ALSO be in an asylum, and does NOT belong in the harem genre. For any fucking reason. If either she or Mandy can go this fiercely against the MC’s stated desires, they have to go. Period. There IS NO HAREM if they’re going to kill half of it off whenever they decide they want the MC all to themselves!

Gwen: Did NOT need a boyfriend to start with. I used mandy to distract him and there was NO REASON for her to fucking straight up murder the bastard. If I wanted it done bluntly you fucktards, I would have picked the option to just kill him myself. All that needed to happen was Gwen saw him groping, or nearly putting himself into Mandy (which should have been the point they were caught; because FUCK SHARING CONTENT AT ALL – AND DOUBLE FUCK NTR) And then she should have kicked him in the nuts herself, and broken it off. What happened afterward with MC would still have gone forward; and it wouldn’t have screwed anyone’s head over or risked actual legal ramifications. The guy’s a cop. Not God. Eventually that shit will get found, and questioned. If he’s involved in too many questionable cases, you dipshits do know there’s such a thing as internal affairs? Gwen also happens to be way too accepting, while at the same time way too vulnerable about the idea MC has a wife. You could just straight up mention he’s bent in the way he wants a harem – if he can ever actually get his “wife” back. (She was about to leave his dumb ass in the first place, so I doubt even if he finds her = and you better not have had Father make her rape meat because she can’t fight back; That WILL piss off anyone that DID pick no sharing, and would be again an entirely assholish thing to pull – that she will still consider them married at all) It would solve the problem of Anne, who we’ll be getting too. It’s a long list. Sue me, I didn’t make all these characters, and if I had I would have done it correctly. You can be dark without being a dick. You can be controlling, in sex, without being a complete amoral prick about it. The only thing I agreed with in her family arc was slamming the drunk assed Mom into the wall and threatening her the moment she tried the shit she pulled way too fast. Just to fuck with the audience [Also – TRULY: FUCK. GILF. AS A CONCEPT – JUST STOP IT. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE A 50 TO 70 YEAR OLD WOMAN GET RAILED!]

Susan: Is probably either dying right now for no reason, or you may be dickish enough to pull that she lives and can never have another kid because of where she was stabbed. DO NOT DO THAT. She was fired for BULLSHIT reasons; if she was part of the harem and in love with him, there was NO REASON HE SHOULDN’T HAVE PUT HER IN THE DAMNED DUNGEON – Other than you genius’ saying NOT to. So now she’s bleeding on the shed floor, because Mandy’s god damned nuts. Her sister wants to stay more than she does: AND FUCK OFF WITH SHE BLAMES THE MC IN COMING BACK. She. IS. Still. In LOVE. With. Him. Otherwise it’s NOT a fucking HAREM! MC did not take the baby away – HE PROTECTED IT. Recall she was going to bloody abort it; and that SHOULD BE THROWN IN HER FACE. It should be used to BREAK her. Fuck drugs. Fuck Vinny. Fuck anything but the MC PERSONALLY DOING IT. He DOES NOT CONTROL BETH: SO THERE IS NO REASON THAT BETH’S ACTIONS SHOULD BE BLAMED ON MC. [This is also why a true Dominant would NEVER mind-break his Subs. Even if he considers them his “toys.” Most of us are highly possessive, and will PROTECT what we want to keep] Neither Beth NOR Susan belong in this game; until you FIX this bullshit. They don’t get to leave, and they don’t get to be rancid bitches if they’re going to be part of a harem. It IS about Love. It IS about trust. If you don’t understand those concepts for the fuel that a harem NEEDS to actually survive in concept – find another fucking genre to write.

Kennedy: Just a slut. Technically nothing wrong with that – but god damn it she still looks like she was rendered as a fourteen year old. You guys do know that teen girls CAN go higher than a B cup, right?!? I knew a girl in grade fucking seven that had full C at least, if not D cup. It’s possible. So please, Jesus. Give the girls some fucking actual curves. Not just a hint of them that might in a decade or so when she’s actually LEGAL, manage to fill the fuck out. Mostly I don’t like that through depravity, this relationship is almost entirely coersion. And SHE’S the one that actually wants to stay… That’s just fucking WRONG. Beyond that there’s the point that again, she and her sister blue ball MC about full sex for basically the entire fucking game (you can force her close to the end of this update, but she’ll call it rape – and you can go fuck yourselves for that) She also SHOULD NOT BE INVOLVED IN LESBIAN CONTENT AT ALL. It puts her loyalty in direct question, and confuses the audience. I don’t give a crap if she is BI, but her FOCUS SHOULD BE THE MC.

Anne: There are two options you get to pick later involving Craig = the needless boyfriend of her older sister Gwen. He either raped the shit out of her daily (Of course I said fuck that – it counts as NTR you DUMBASSES) OR he never got the chance but patently wanted to. Either way she hates MC on sight by principle; but becomes an automatic instant sub slut the moment MC forces the issue… how?!? Why… It’s tonally jarring as fuck, and a cop out frankly. She’s not a bad character and I quite like her for actually having decent enough curves to LOOK like she’s over age. But fuck me sideways did you butcher her personality with the bipolar split. (Aside from the fact that like with Kennedy – unless you actually make MC TALK with both Rachael and Gwen about a Harem concept BEFORE he gets caught with either sister by the “prudish/invested” pair – it’s a MASSIVE RED FLAG for way too much drama ahead) She actually BELONGS in the harem. So it proves that you CAN write a girl with some issues that she can still function against, that actually WANTS to be part of what the MC is trying to build. Do you see why I’m pissed off?

Dorothy: Who the fuck is she to MC? What power does he have over her, and why did you write it like they were divorced parents – IF she’s GOING to be in the harem; or was ever a part of it on the side (or fucked him before he met his wife to make Rachael, and kept on afterward for an ONS that gave her Kennedy, I don’t know…) then SAY SO. There was NO REASON to involve the girls’ mother in this story. She does not need to exist and is an extrenuous complication.

The Native American Add On: Why? I mean other that DEI/ESG BULLSHIT. Why? Again; Cheryl is DEAD according to you dumbfucks… so do we really need someone he can super impose as his dead daughter just to prove he’s completely fucked in the head and couldn’t lead JACK SHIT if he tried?!? No. No we don’t. I’m not saying I won’t fuck her and breed her just as much as the others, but god damn it. Fuck Right Off if she’s ONLY there for social political “inclusivity.” Your game’s not winning any awards any time soon chief. Sorry to disappoint, and yeah I know every creatively based awards system now includes that absolutely illegal, actively discriminatory bullshit in a checklist. Give her SOMETHING beyond that, make her the one that makes Rachael and Gwen realize (by her actual real life culture by the way) ** It’s STILL discriminatory if it’s against WHITE or Straight people. So any of you that don’t know that, keep it to yourselves and maybe go sit in a corner and think about it until you figure that out, rather than commenting like a jackass about how wrong I am ** that a harem isn’t a bad thing. Make her the glue that holds MC’s sanity together with GENUINE love… and I will call her a fair enough character. She can have more purpose than her race. If you’re not going to do that; don’t fucking bother with adding her in the first place.

Side Characters: So far there’s at least a waitress we’ve heard nothing about but one scene – so why is she an option? There’s a principal that is probably going to go down a dark path. There’s twin neices to Gwen & Anne, who’ve barely been added in and frankly I don’t think needed to be. You already have the sister to bork things with Gwen. Don’t add more before Gwen actually accepts the damned Harem Lifestyle! There’s Fei who again, didn’t need to be his adopted sister, and frankly MARRIED SOMEONE ELSE. So seriously; what the fuck is the point of her??? I don’t care if you swing that she lost her virginity to MC, or wanted and loved him… SHE SPENT X AMOUNT OF TIME GETTING RAILED BY SOMEONE ELSE!!! (No Sharing/Sharing is Optional my giddy arse)

End of the day, you spend too much time trying to make the Player think the MC is going to fuck up, or lose. You do NOT know how to write a harem game. You do NOT understand even the core foundation of a loving relationship, and whoever is writing this… god damn would I hate to see your psychiatrist’s bill per month. I cannot in good faith recommend this game to anyone. At all. The girls are either too much drama; actively insane, or cock teases who do not fit within the established genre tagged. The storyline is needlessly edgy to grim dark. Just to be edgelords. There’s hints of Your Princess Is In Another Castle, and an unbeatable antagonist to contend with. Who should have already lost in Chapter fucking five. There’s the fact the actual princess is more likely to run the fuck away screaming the moment she learns what MC really wants, so I don’t see where the holy hell the dev team wants to go with this game in the long run. I can just tell it’s not going to end well. For anyone.