Kingmaker [V0.17] [Kingmaker]

Okay, you NEED to fix the stats and the finances; it’s WAY too much bullshit that you have so many stat checks in game that fuck over your ability to make choices that will help you find who the traitor MIGHT be. There’s NO fucking reason to EVER let the treasury go into the negatives. Have SOME SORT OF GUARD AGAINST THAT. While we’re at it your dumb assed world map does NOT listen to the button click to close the stupid interface – and there is NO WAY TO GET BACK TO THE REGULAR MAP!!!

There’s the fact each game week STILL needs to be ONE DAY. Not a fucking week. There’s the point that the BETROTHAL if it’s so damned important to the King’s Legacy (and frankly it should be the first bloody pregnancy in game – since convincing your queen to LET YOU HAVE THE HAREM should be the PRIORITY lewd line and done first thank you very much) you should GET ON THAT. Immediately. The twins are as bad as Jocelyn at this point. An introduction and nothing else. Fuck. THE. ARMY GAME!!! THERE’S TOO MUCH BULLSHIT ATTACHED TO IT: IT DOES NOT WORK, and you have enough crap to deal with just trying to get into ANY of the girl’s pants. While we’re at it, one sex scene with the Lord’s wife doesn’t cut it IF SHE CAN’T GET PREGNANT yet – and stick to assertions she wants you, not her husband. While NOT BEING FUCKING DRUNK BEFOREHAND!!!

The scenes with Brienne need to take into account – because I SHOULD NOT BE LOSING RENOUN AGAINST HER, OR AUTO LOSING IN GENERAL if I have the Weapons training up to even 2 blocks. Otherwise what’s the fucking point of it. I’ll grant you can set the military bullshit to HUGH handles it; and HE SHOULD DIE DOING IT, to clear the path for his wife to be MC’s bitch the rest of the game. Fuck intrigue as a stat. Fuck doing it behind anyone’s back. Fuck the idea that the KING can’t just claim first rights, or any wife in general = you already put a traitor in the game, so fuck the idea of sneaking around. Have him take whoever the fuck he pleases, in ORDER TO PISS THE POTENTIAL TRAITOR OFF. It’s a GOD DAMNED HAREM GAME IN YOUR TAGS… THE BENEFIT OF THAT IS YOU GET ALL THE WOMEN. Period. The hubands should either be dead, or away and not shown on screen. Jesus how is that a hard concept?

There’s the fact that Tristan looks like he wants to kill his new king, who is the brother to the one he probably LOVED – since you styled him after the flower knight and make that damned reference. While asserting he should be the Sworn knight in Kings’ Guard. Like I’m going to trust a cripple (and with one less eye he definitely IS NOT suited to military combat any longer) who looks like he’ll slit my throat. NOT subtle. And STOP BLUE BALLING with Eleanor… How many updates is it going to take you dimwits to get to the actual sex that DOESN’T involve a younger sister, or your mom??? I get that at least the last update finally added the younger maid, and you could bone the older one (who REALLY does not need to be in the game, or involved in anything lewd god damn it – ugh!) but those are currently the only two girls you can do ANYTHING sexual with. And you’ve had that pic of the preggers elf up there from the damned start of your uploads… Come on.

– The twins: Focus on it. Marry them BOTH should also be an option to open up the harem (and it should not be a fucking state check; because IF you go there, you’re functionally retarded. These are MC’s BROTHER’S CAST OFFS. They should be glad MC will uphold a bargain he’s not factually bound to, and as king CAN VOID) There should be NO cost to that choice if made, and frankly Katherine should be THE MOST GRATEFUL. Especially with all the disdain she showed the one that actually wanted to dance with her… and the fact his brother clearly was not interested in marrying her. Again, Jesus Fucking Christ this is not a hard concept.

You have two sisters (who don’t need to be in the damned game) a Mother – who shouldn’t be able to be romanced; a Lady Knight who wants to emasculate you only to realize you’re never going to be a prick about it [If you want to get into her bed] and admits that it was bad form… but KEEPS FUCKING DOING IT… and you make her the king’s guard; just to still be blue balled. Fuck FOREPLAY = GET TO THE SEX!!! If I wanted to see the lead up to breeding her dumbass, I’d stick to pornhub and jerking off myself. It’s about as effective, and just as frustrating. Tristan should KNOW that he’s crippled and not even try to make the machismo play about it. He WAS the best swordsman. You’re not going to be that in a full helm with ONE FUCKING EYE! Every. Warrior. Knows. When. To. PUT. DOWN. THE. SWORD. No one is the best in the game forever; and that’s the first thing they’d drill into him as a potential raw knight. You can die. You can be maimed. You should fight like hell NOT to be either of those things, for as long as you can manage. The whole debacle between the two of them makes BOTH come off as infantile.

Her treating THE KING like she has any control over whether he gets to bend her over the bed – or that she doesn’t absolutely by the point he’s seeing her nude in her quarters, definitely want him to – is BULLSHIT. She is either part of the harem or not. She DOES NOT get to call the shots against ROYALTY. Fuck me sideways if you don’t get the actual class system, you shouldn’t be venturing into medieval time periods.

The witch: What the fuck is the point? She says she can offer power… HOW? When? Why? WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT? Because aside from a BJ and a handy, she’s got nothing to offer, and she steals his seed for some weird as shit experiment. There’s NO power on offer to bolster stats (which would be the best use of her as a character frankly – unless you want to get into mind control to actually help the MC get pussy and or breed them FASTER) She’s a call out to the red bitch; but it’s not like she’s going to give birth to a shadow demon. Not any time soon with all the other work you have to do on several OTHER better suited characters.

The elven princess/queen/dignitary? : When? Because she’s just another log on the pile you’re not focusing on, because you want to play at army building, and Tax bullshit – which by the way FIX the finances so that you CANNOT lose money. At least on Baron mode for fuck sakes. Jesus that’s stupid. You can’t do anything but get your ass kicked with no money. Frankly Money and ANYTHING monetarily involved SHOULD BE REMOVED from the game. Assume the coffers have NO problem by his father’s reign and NEVER will. It would save you a massive pain in the rear with coding, and frustrate the hell out of your players a LOT less. Win/Win.

Again, the game has potential, but your choice of implementation – and frankly in some senses the art style – hurts the hell out of this game’s viability. There are too many stats even on easy; the pacing is absolute bullshit to deal with, and there aren’t any actual finished lewd lines to bother pursuing. There’s a harem and pregnancy promised, but getting there is no doubt going to be punitive (and I swear to holy fuck, traitor in the lords or no, DO NOT make the mistake of even trying to kill MC off. It’s a PARODY of game of thrones. If you’re going to be that assholish to your fan base I guarantee you will pay in sub count for it) You’re already doing far more than enough to ensure your actual player count will always be low.

At this point I’ll be extremely generous and say I’ll give you TWO more updates to get somewhere with the parts of the game I’d actually give a shit about: Building the harem/Marriage options (all of them as married to the KING by a NEW LAW DAMN IT!) and Pregnancy. Male Dominance should not even be an option to turn on. He’s the KING. It should be assumed. Femdom does NOT belong in this context. You ever heard of Henry The Eighth??? It’s fine with Lady Rayne, she’s not cuckolding the king (since I doubt that she’s actively fucking her husband at all) The SEX and Kinks are the part of the game most people WILL be playing for, and if you don’t get that point I have no clue why you designed this game to feature adult content…