Hard Times [Ch.13] [Kuranai]

Okay, so good parts out of the way first:

– I’m pleased you’ve fleshed out the story from the rough drafts. I’m even more pleased you seem to have gotten to the point of keeping the saves with new updates. I will say I like that you make the MC capable – barring a few points that I will bring up.

– You don’t go into his training in the martial arts. Or weapon craft. I’m assuming some light level of mixed martial arts, with more street fighting having been thrown in. So far you’ve put him into an assassin’s path as a class option. But he’s still too raw to set up a Ninja LI (unless you let him take her down with a lucky shot – and no, severing your wrist by pulling out her sword does not count as LUCKY. It’s STUPID – From any metric of combat art) Ryu should NOT be threatening MC with a katana before they even get to know each other. Tsundere is NOT attractive to most sane people. She wanted to prove she had honor; so LET her. By not automatically thinking to point a sharp object at someone she does not absolutely KNOW is an enemy – Especially BECAUSE you intend her as a LI!

= How many girls would you date that have openly threatened you with overgrown knives? o. O

While we’re on the subject; yes. Sophia can be the more technically skilled combatant overall – BUT MC OUTWEIGHS her. That counts for a LOT more in most cases. [Do NOT make the MC lose to a fucking girl just because she has a slit he wants to use. It demeans BOTH characters. His abilities, and hers]

On that subject: Do NOT make Alice’s wounds mean she won’t ever have kids. I can see you going there, and fuck right off if you try. Pregnancy isn’t in the tags yet, but it should be soon. Considering how often you are just making MC come inside the girls without even checking if the Player wants that outcome [Not complaining as it suits my taste – but it does mean you have to follow through on the consequences. Also fuck the birth control excuse. It kills the Fantasy aspect]

My recommendation which I think if you really WANT both new girls to be LI’s at all you actually are leading toward in the first place, would be Ryu is not implicated in whatever the hell Reevena would accuse – BUT her family overall may be guilty of the crime. Since she is so honorbound, you can have her see it as a stain on how she thinks the clan should be. Call THAT her empowerment moment. Where she will choose MC’s side. From that point, you can build things. If you set the pair as rivals that more of a dick move. I’m also not wild about diversity for diversity’s sake. However so long as they have more use and more character in story than stereotypes of their cultures, fair game.

I do hope you won’t make Augusto be an arse or a rival to the MC’s that choose to go benevolent. He can disagree; he can argue the point ideologically, but it should never come down to who’s side he’s actually on. I firmly believe it would be character growth for him to either straight up say MC is better for the Heir, when Big Boss does pass the crown. Or have Dumont suggest MC, and then have Augusto agree after a pause. Just don’t make that a point buy system – since one of his +1’s was tied to a cruel response and I don’t like mixing and matching just to make my companions like me if I’m aiming for a set path. [We get enough of that in Fallout and Dragon Age, damn it]

I can say at least you’ve finally included actual lewd scenes. They’re a bit quick and there’s no choice of ending, but it’s progress. A lot of progress, considering I’ve played this game pretty much from a fairly rough start. So bravo, all told. I’m hopeful to see where you’ll go next. But the next time Ryu points a katana at MC’s back – warn her he’s going to shove his, in a Shoryuken! up her pretty petite ass ; ) [Then again, she might be into that…]

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