Cybernetic Seduction [Ep.3] [1Thousand]

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For my view, I’m mixed.

The art is decent (not always amazing – but usually better than just passable) The characters are somewhat fleshed out. Sort of. Of course that would be more true if the WHOLE thing wasn’t Neo in The Matrix boned Alpha Protocol on Recruit Difficulty (yes, I played the game – and in general it is awesome) There are aspects of the story that just straight up do not work as well as you think.

The main character is a Cock. Which means he’s the guy that DOES get the ladies. However Liam Does NOT need to be there in general. There’s the fact you seem to want to make the Cock – who is supposed to be in lore a very defined role – have the background of a secret super soldier. He’s not Steve Rogers, and he has family issues in general. We don’t know what they are because we get about fuck and all of useful backstory so far. Which I know. It’s a newer game. It’ll take time to flesh out… IF you can hook the audience. Which believe me, for this crowd is going to take more than a decent to gorgeous set of tits. No matter how many of them you line up. [Fuck off with all the masturbation scenes. I do that myself; we do that ourselves, and we all know what we’re doing when we play these games. It’s NOT sexy. It’s just there to blue ball the audience]

The story of Zhine is a bit all over the place. The additional mob elements don’t really need to be there. The security level you can fuck right off with. Just don’t. It’s an added pressure that will piss off most players. You need to give a way to counter the DANGER. Not just the stress level. Because your conversation markers DO NOT clearly mention when a choice WILL increase the Danger level; and you state several times you only get 10. Then it’s game over. There’s the fact that so far, and no I don’t give a flying rat’s arse how attractive you make any of them – every. Single. Girl. Except Kendra has either bantered assholishly to – at the bare minimum – or directly insulted the MC. While basically SUPPOSEDLY being “attracted” to him. Pick one. Because even if the MC is supposed to seem submissive (and I don’t think that’s what you intend – though I do have 8 Care to 4 Confidence when they SHOULD be EVEN) That title DOES NOT mean DOORMAT!

The Mother I might almost understand – but you REALLY need to soften her, at least to the MC and VERY quickly. Other than that you’re going to give the audience tonal whiplash. Which will make her less viable to pursue [Whether you have to or not is irrelevant, people will eventually quit the game if you push this shit too far] There’s the fact that Sato says she doesn’t even like men. Why? I mean you couldn’t have tried any harder to make her the butch even if her frame is pipecleaner… but again; Lesbian CONFLICTS with a MALE Harem Lead. Bisexual exists, is still inclusive, and frankly MUCH more common. There’s no reason to seemingly gate her off this early in the game. If MC has to actually start jobs with her, fine. If he has to pass a bar physically to impress her, fine also. As long as you actually IMPLEMENT the means for the player to do so, and don’t make her a raving bitch like she has been to Liam * I get it, it’s his character to want to be “The Player” type and fail horribly, but again: We. Get. That. Enough. In Real Life! This is Fantasy. This is Escapism. Nina is another problem in that regard and I’d assume she’s supposed to be the Trinity/Scarlet character. Which again is fine, but even with an injured leg you have come too close to making her a Mary Sue. There’s also the fact I have 6 Affection with her as of the end, and she’s still barely warming up to the notion of being friendly to passably a descent human being to MC. Nevermind the fact I’m pretty sure that regardless of at least 2 FREAKING masturbation scenes she’s actively threatened to cut off MC’s cock [You NEVER. EVER. Need to go there – and frankly my answer is Try it. You won’t have any tits left. It’s the SAME. THING. ASSHOLES!] she seems like she’d rather fuck an orc… and THAT is NOT how you work a Harem. Or show that the MC really did have the skills inclined to be a “Cock.” (She can begrudge the fact he’s GOING to have more girls than just herself, but you NEED to make her consider things as to MC. She can HIDE the fact she DOES want him; but that NEEDS to be CLEARLY shown to the audience. Otherwise you have NOTHING to counter her incredibly bitchy attitude. So again, it’s going to turn players off. Which is rather counter to your goal here.

Natalie ALSO does not have the position of power that is needed to be as big of a bitch as she has been to the player, especially when she met him twice and became a sudden super slut. Then accuses him of being the Dog. Is she a Zebra… because I think she’s got the same stripes. There are ways to write the characters as properly guarded, while sharing with the audience that it IS a FRONT. Physical contact is not the only trick they should have. Especially when it’s NOT actually that much, and sometimes done more to fuck with the MC’s head. So far, you have a boss character that probably is using MC as a sacrificial lamb/hail mary – please don’t fuck this up because it’s all our asses on the line but it’s DEFINITELY my head going first off the block; a doctor character that recommends you flirt with her that you know for five seconds before you’re Matrix’d up. So why the fuck bother??? With either of the two. They can be in the background, but another issue in the whole I can see the matrix just to make me Clark Kent without the little green rocks to slow me down is the fact that NONE of this is real. The relationships MC builds in the sim are BULLSHIT. So unless you want to somehow drive this thing into Reality at the half way mark – and consequencially make the player start from scratch to “find the girls that were heart marked” in the real world and THEN build back up again to just stretch the story out farther… you’re also going to lose some audience investment that you don’t need to. But then again, this is my opinion. It’s your story; and your ball to fumble any which way you want. (I’m also particularly pissed about the Chloe no romance “at work” BS, and THEN making me choose to LOSE an affection point with her to GAIN one with the shady weapons merc – who you also need to get the discounted lazer to heal Nina’s leg!!! >.< – or taking both points with Chloe; who again is basically a brick wall… IF it IS a Harem = Do NOT make the Player choose between Girls. Cardinal Sin)

I may bother to download this again. Once. I will say it's ridiculous with how many potential ways I can see for the MC to "fuck this whole thing up" that you don't just code in Colors and Consequences. Nevermind the damned separate download for a walkthrough. It's too much bullshit to wade through to really need to worry about "replay value" You look like you're set for a long haul as far as the storyline. So it actually makes more sense within your own lore that the eggheads running the sim would offer you insight like that to make damned sure MC comes off like James Bond. Not Maimed & Bound.