Elleria [v0.7 Ch. 3] [M.C Games]

Jesus, I never thought I’d agree with Vomond. You know a game is bad when it gets to that point…

First, Dev – is this your first game?

You make several missteps. You can say the story’s a slow burn or a focal point. That doesn’t mean there should be less sex scenes. And for a game where story IS the focal point, you’re saying a lot with nothing to actually say. Or rather, you’re preaching to a choir that really doesn’t want to listen to what your literal religious beliefs may be in real life. There’s a reason why no one likes Atheists. You do believe in something; like the Indian concept of Zero. You just don’t believe that god exists. Yet in your assertion of that absence held as staunchly as your flag, you’re arguing it to the point it’s become it’s own religion. Which is rather fucking counter intuitive.

Normally I wouldn’t bring a matter of faith into my critiques – I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if you actually are one in your personal life. Do what you want, believe what you will. But you’re creating a world with actual magics. With gods that do perform literal miracles, with said magics. In this case, atheism doesn’t exactly fit. It’s rather the argument of Self Reliance as your religion instead. Which is not the belief in nothing divine, rather in the idea that just because something divine does exist – doesn’t mean it will listen to you. Or care about you. At all. Usually if they do, it’ll be to use you to it’s own ends. In the case where faith is it’s battery, perhaps just to bolster it’s own power with your faith in it. Which makes you a glorified Scooby Snack. The point being, your job as the dev is to create a blank slate character. The audience’s avatar to interact with your world. Or create an legitimately compelling character.

Which frankly can’t be done by asserting he is so powerfully held in a nhilistic belief that it becomes preaching to the audience in itself. Or making him an arse to everyone in the game. Including and particularly to the love interests. Who also don’t get to insult his ass every two sentences. Not in the Harem Genre. Five seconds after the first and only girl I’ve met so far (and I have since tapped out of the game after the introduction of a second quest – wherein MC is accused of seeking a whore, with the assumption being he should’ve sought her instead being entirely passive aggressive… when she’s known him for at least FIVE WHOLE FUCKING YEARS!!!) she’s already stated she “cherishes” him… and then in the next block of text insults his ass. Why? Why… why! Do you all think this is okay. It doesn’t matter how attractively rendered a girl is in these games: If she treats the MC like an asshole, you’re literally throwing abuse at your audience. Because you think you can get away with it. You can’t. We all have different tastes and tolerances for that shit, but ernestly dude, no matter how long it takes for them to tap out, most of them will at some point.

There’s the fact of Miss “I am a humble Servant to a Priestess” who won’t tell you anything about the quest. Too many red flag sign posts screaming “I’m the dev trying to screw you over!!!” She might well be a main LI – at this point I’ll never know. Because you couldn’t let the elf fuck off with the insults for five seconds or genuinely ask because she cares about him and was concerned he could be hurt… where he was. Maybe fish for a better explanation. Just, Jesus dude… oh. Right. Sorry, that’s probably a swear word to you.

You should’ve presented the idea that MC has no assigned faith, and may yet come to believe in a god (either again or perhaps genuinely for the first time – which might be why whatever the hell you were setting up at the start of the game went tits up, if you were smart) and then let the MC CHOOSE what his faith, and his level of interaction with said faith might be. If there’s going to be a level up system like that Innate Ability thing in the codex appears to hint could happen, that might be nice. But in that case you present the choice. Not just assuming the MC is going to be the brick for brains warrior. He WAS a paladin (or someone was – I admit that introduction was bloody confusing * and they aren’t wrong that it looks like you ripped off the beginning of Skyrim. At least you didn’t talk about mead with juniper berries. Todd would’ve had your ass in a sling for it) and that didn’t work out… so maybe go Berserker or Assassin, or Ninja. Or you know, Spell Sword/Battlemage is an option.

I can’t say I’ve actually had a game’s text so thoroughly bore me before. Not that I think that’s a laudible achievement. Nor exactly what you were aiming for. But one thing about a medieval fantasy setting is: Conform more to the gender roles, as they would’ve been held as they’ve stood in most of the societies in that era. EVEN amongst adventurers. There’s a reason most females wear lighter armor, or use lighter weapons. If they don’t fight dual weaponed, they’ll likely use a buckler to a kite shield at worst. They aren’t stronger than most men – so yes I have a problem with MC’s assertion about the old man, unless said old man was that close to death, and that will have equalized due to the massive age difference. There’s also the fact that since it’s a fantasy setting, leave out your personal politics and religious beliefs. That’s just asking to conflict with your desired audience. Who generally play these games for escapism. Immersion doesn’t mean make it a one to one realistic take. (Again, read above about the era – you weren’t doing that anyway) It means GROUND the damned story with bits and pieces that are real enough to set the stage so the audience can imagine something close enough to what you intend, and let the fantasy guide the rest as what CAN be possible in THIS world. Because it’s NOT ours. I will never understand how so many people think immersion ever meant anything different.

nice