AlwaysFan [v1.0][Final] [AtemX Games]

I don’t understand why this game gets only a score of 50 – this game is so good, one of my favorites – Ilke it very much.

Look, Dev – you mention this is your first game. I get it; but the way you went about the Tower thing with the grim dark REALLY BUGS me, and borks a few “fetishes” that really did not need to be. Especially with Erika; and I will stand by the fact that EVERY Girl IN THE PICTURE ABOVE as a character Roster (outside of the Mom, which I’m also pissed that you include her in the pic as a DEAD character) SHOULD. BE. IN. THE. HAREM!

I will not let that go. So here is a way that you can re-work the whole thing (At least for the Harem Route – those that want to play NTR Path I’d even say you can keep it the way it is – but deliniation for both paths works to your advantage with Subs) This is to help you, and make the game more palatable to those like myself who like Harems/Dominance.

– I do appreciate there is a 3rd path: but I would have actually kept the MC firmly off softening on Dom stance. It IS a loving relationship and you CAN be romantic as a Dom. It’s more treated as a reward system. There is a bond of trust between Dom and Sub that HAS to exist before you even start trying to command sexually; and it has to be VERY CLEAR TO START WITH. Emille trying to change things back to a more romantic path is BULLSHIT. It muddies the waters in context, and that makes it harder to know what the choices mean. This game should NOT need a walkthrough. You can code in brackets that tell the player what choices mark out which path, so that the way you want to play is clarified. Always. You’d keep more fans that way.

For the harem route specifically:

– Do not use more than one actual Alwaysfan girl = Redpanda works if you insist to keep her sterile. The rest of the girls should be UNNAMED & NEVER SHOWN ON SCREEN. (It would save you from having to rework character models)

– Girls that are NOT named and shown draw less impact, so it’s less jarring as grim dark content. It’s still terrible; but it does NOT dent viability of characters that are SHOWN on the title screen above, that can and should be later adds to the Harem Roster. Erika is particularly a problem because you bork 2 “fetishes” with her; SHE SHOULD REMAIN A VIRGIN. You mentioned she was sequestered. Keep it that way. Make it a bad reaction to the drug she almost died from. Explain it however you like but she SHOULD NOT BE TOUCHED until the rescue.

– Celine and Yuki or whatever the hell you called the dancing girl can still BE DANCERS. Drugged if you want, but do you really think a Goth girl with that much attitude is just going to let random assholes gang rape her into a breeding sow??? Come on. So no; none of the girls that you render in game SHOULD BE IN THAT ROOM. They can be kidnapped and waiting to be invested into the program, for whatever reasons you want to imply = you can use the trauma & GRATITUDE for reasons that they’d join MC’s harem to start with. The program can still happen if you really want to go there, but the girls involved should be mentions in the story. Not shown. Not rendered as the females in the picture that advertises the game. Iris still keeps her investment in finding her sister so that wouldn’t need a rework. She’d simply rescue Erika BEFORE a pregnancy or virginity loss happens. Much less traumatic and troublesome to write her into the Harem that way, since she would see the MC as her ultimate hero. [Iris would have been blockaded from doing anything until it was too late, if not for MC and Emille giving her the in…]

– Celine gets to face the reality of what she almost went through; and while it will break her a little, doing it this way makes her redemption arc easier to handle. She can cop to being an addict if you want (I wouldn’t go there, but you can work in a concern that she might become that way instead and it’s still heavy, but manageable) and give MC the in to bring her into the fold, and help her mend. Which should soften her personality and re-shape her perspective about relationships and what she wants out of sex in the long run.

– I’d say Yuki would be the graceful, seeming broken bird who may be distant at first, or less trusting of MC but in raw gratitude won’t push him out entirely. Make her prim and proper as fuck in overcompensation, and easily melted by the “right” man, and that would be enough for her character arc to be interesting.

* Adding in the rival girl of both MC & Emille would be a hard sell: Unless Emille is also doing it to get her own Vengeance (earned) and MC gets to be the unquestioned Dominant with Elizabeth. She fucked up, and HAS to prove herself, to get what she wants. It gives Emille back power and confidence that this bitch tore away; and makes her redeemable, because she has to work for the love that she genuinely wants and probably couldn’t properly express for pride’s sake. You can do the same with the Latina/Indian looking girl we’ve seen exactly once who was a bitch to both Cass and Emille. Maybe do the same thing to her, but with Cass as the revenging factor. Since Cass & Emille are kind of also together (Mostly because you DIDN’T CLARIFY that NOT doing the Lesbian BULLSHIT wouldn’t be Penalized!!!) A special point here: NONE of the girls NEED to be attracted to each other – and if they are; THEY DO NOT NEED TO ACT ON IT. That just muddies the waters about what they want in a harem setting. Because the focus again should always be first, foremost and preferrably ONLY on the MC. For each individual woman.

– On the Harem Path = the ONLY one doing the IMPREGNATING OF GIRLS SHOULD BE THE MC! Period. For most people that are drawn to the kink as I’ve stated in previous comments, the draw in it is the act of Conception. A girl REALLY has to both WANT & TRUST a guy to give him that gift. It is the ultimate expression of Love/Dominance insofar as Control. She will LET herself be impregnated by a man she truly loves. So you randomly doing what you did to Erika and Celine as characters the MC personally knows, is and has always been bullshit, that taints the whole. It makes the game a LOT harder to play, and enjoy for anyone that likes harems. It makes it harder to think there will be other girls added in the roster, period. It makes you less trustworthy as a writer – because you’re going for shock value/edgelord crap that does NOT need to be in the Harem Genre. Ever. It will cost you people that could be subs. (Again, on the NTR path you can freely use the already rendered scenes and I doubt the people that want that content in game will give two shits. But for a story that’s built SO heavily on romance and building relationships with the girls, that particular part of the game does need an overhaul. Badly. Know your audience mate, people that want/enjoy harems don’t want to see ANYONE else doing ANYTHING else with the women they may become invested in eventually…) You’re limiting yourself in ways you don’t have to. You’re limiting the audience of potential girls, who might otherwise be unique, attractive characters to add in. That’s the part that pisses me off so much.

– I’d also say you can have a page seperation in the two types of girls that will be in the harem: One for Main Girls, and one for Side Girls. Both should count as in the harem. Rather it would be about those that want to live with MC eventually, and those that need their own space, but still love the MC dearly. You have several newly introduced characters as I posted already, who can and should be in the harem. Where they go, and how the get there is up to you really. You also haven’t even introduced every character that’s in the picture, so there’s still space in the main roster as far as I’m concerned. It’s really up to you how true you want that advertising to be. How much work you want to do, and how good you want the game to be. I will also say as a final point, either remove the damned mini game sections completely other than mentioning them as plot points in the story, or add an actual SKIP button that just assumes the PLAYER WINS. Because I should NOT have to look up the answers to even the STUDY session – and I don’t trust your hint system to help me win the quiz. Which limits replayability, which is the whole point of the split paths. Because you STILL have to do the freaking quiz if you want to be her Dom, but keep Emille out of being a whore. (The orgy scene as her second round; and specifically LETTING ANYONE BUT THE MC TAKE HER ANAL VIRGINITY WAS BULLSHIT by the way. Just because you paid for her DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE. Consent still matters, and other than that she’s being raped. Also – Emille NEEDS to know there is a difference between “pleasure” and Physical Response to Stimulus! She didn’t enjoy the fucking she was paid for. She was PAID FOR IT! You can cum from sex in general with someone you don’t want, and it doesn’t make it any less rape. You can cum from sex you’re paid for, and it DOES NOT MEAN YOU ENJOYED IT) Robert would still lose MC’s trust for making her fuck more than one guy who wasn’t him. That part I’d keep, but MC taking Emille anally BEFORE the second escort scene should happen. That way you’re not taking something away from the player. The new Evidence gathering = Highlight key words in the clues, because I had to randomly GUESS what words would get me an answer, and you set a fucking time limit to do it. Both of which are ASSHOLE moves. He can be a hacker, but he can’t figure out from 999+ emails what titles MIGHT be important??? Fuck that. Also fuck you very much for mister I never clean my Emails. No One DOES THAT. That’s you being a dick to the player to make things harder than they have to be. There should be a way to clean the email list up so that the player has some fucking clue what the hell they need to look for. IF he’s actually a hacker level computer guy have him know a script that searches out keywords; make it take a full hour – I was there by 2 pm, and with the hour to make things easier and GIVE THE PLAYER THE ANSWERS, you won’t need more time to muck around with things. Again: I missed 1 of each of the two categories in evidence. You should NOT be able to miss ANY. Not if you don’t choose to.

End of the day, for your first game you’ve crafted a decently compelling, at times actually romantic and fun to invest in game. But damn dude if it’s not rough around the edges. I’ve done what I can here to help smooth it out. Whether you remotely listen to me or not, I can’t say I’m not a fan. Just… not of NTR content. I am however the type to test all paths in general to see what differentiates. I very probably won’t continue the NTR path specifically because of the early end game where Emille offs herself if you try to get with Amanda and ignore her… and what you pulled in the second Robert scene. Frankly, she SHOULD have been allowed to walk the fuck away and find other business the moment she found out that the deal wasn’t exactly what she’d signed up for. Period.