Bastard [S2 Ep.02] [Clerik]

Tried this one a while back… and there’s a reason you guys need to learn if you want to make a dating sim – make a DATING SIM. If you want to make a Harem; Make a HAREM! The two are FUNDAMENTALLY DIFFERENT. They belong together about as much as Peanut Butter and Mayonaise. They are effectively mutually exclusive.

Now on to the story. The first thing I will say is I do NOT care if you titled the game Bastard; PICK. A. SIDE. (It SHOULD be the MC’s – all of the way) His soon to be ex [Or in the process of being ex?] wife does not get to win; if she’s not coming back into his life. Which again, you should also very clearly mark as a thing that can happen. IF the player CHOOSES. It should not be she cheated, or MC cheated in that case. It can be considered NO FAULT. That type of divorce as far as I’m aware, still exists (or can be stated to as such, in fantasy context) Going a path where one very definitely fucked up only makes either character that much less sympathetic and trustworthy if you are going to offer a path for the player to choose to “patch things up.”

Next: Every single option I saw basically made it seem like you were TRYING to set the MC up to fail.
There does not need to be a married Boss of MC. She can be Boss man’s daughter (bad enough – massive red flag there) or his girlfriend. Not something where unless there’s a MASSIVE fuck up; she’s already invested strongly enough there’s no real space for her to be TAKEN by the MC. She’s off limits – unless you want to risk your balls. Financially and otherwise, because we have another case of the Boss being about 3x the size of the MC. He’s dead meat in a straight up fight.

The secretary is a little too liberal for the fact that she IS dependant on MC for success at her job. There are some latitudes she can take for being hot, but no Dominant Minded Boss will tolerate intentional insolence beyond a set point. The will they won’t they DOES need to be a THEY WILL. Period. For her to be that confident she has that power. She should not be optional. Call it the default “You at least get me” [It could be the failsafe for players who don’t like walkthroughs, and don’t want to get completely screwed by a story that really does not seem designed to let the player WIN]

Frankly, again if it’s a harem – Do NOT make this a Rubix cube for answers. The only question I should b e asked is: Do you want sex with X character, or not? Any response in the story SHOULD lead to either of those two outcomes; and I should NOT be penalized for refusing to have X girl in the harem. Best advice I could really give is decide quite frankly what you really want the game to be. Dating Sim – which CAN be as punitive as you’ve currently written things, or Harem – Which really should be made clear with any number of responses that should be geared to the Player TELLING you as Devs: Yes – I WANT A HAREM!

Other than that, I would also consider adding pregnancy content as a draw – or potentially another way to share with the player (even if you don’t add the structure I’ve suggested) that they ARE on a Harem Path. I do think there was some potential. But do recall it should never be that the females think they have so much power over the MC’s wants that they can freely insult the fuck out of the PLAYER. The MC is ALWAYS the AVATAR of the player. When you insult one; you insult the other. Which can and will to some extent, risk a loss of subs. There’s a line between banter, which is acceptable, and shitting on the MC because you literally called the game Bastard. Which is frankly NOT acceptable. Not if you want to convince anyone with a functioning brain cell these women are after MC for anything but a fun ride and all of his cash. Which is probably not the message you really want to send. Or maybe I’m wrong and it is exactly the one you want to send. Either way, it’s not likely to win you much overall support in the long run. There’s a fine line between showing spine, a sharp wit; a sarcastic tongue and just being rancid.

As the MC, the Protagonist – The Hero of the story; the Player’s Avatar is SUPPOSED to WIN.
Period. It is not a question. It is the end goal. It should never be asked whether they will – but only HOW.