Move the Chains [v0.2 Bugfix] [MissFortune]

A game where the characters talk in idiot-speak? Too off-putting. Can’t take any of them serious.

So… the entirity of this game is Girl has ONE personality; doesn’t matter which girl.

She’s ATTRACTED to MC – never going to ADMIT that she’s attracted to MC (unless the DEV who is WAY TOO OBSESSED WITH FEMDOM CONTENT) Decides randomly that MC gets to Fuck.

It’s CODED as Impregnation – but only two examples of Kids in game. One not yet born and eventually revealed to NOT belong to MC. And one who’s aping on WVM (It’s NOT smart to reference a better written game whose characters you’re clearly copying. Not stealing, but undeniably copying) Also Fuck off with Kara. Entirely. Fuck the idea that she threatens MC after EVERYTHING YOU MADE HIM DO – at the player’s discretion – to HELP her. Without asking anything but a bit of tease and supposed fucking “Chemistry.” Bitch if that’s your idea of chemistry you can absolutely bloody bite me.

Literally her and DIANA and that Yandere bitch you put in the damned game at a cliffhanger – and VERY nearly Ria as well – All useless. They DESERVE to be written the fuck out of the game. No, one scene where Diana ALMOST implies she wants to bone her brother DOES NOT MAKE UP for how rancid she’s been the entire game. Fuck off. I’d bet anything captain only I know what’s best for you – which is female arrogance by the way, and if you don’t know that I can’t help you – happens to be Bestiality girl we fucked exactly once who was the first one to bring up Birth Control… In a game that’s got IMPREGNATION in the tags. When??? Sixty fucking chapters in – after you’re done getting your rocks off letting MC be domineering against anyone that DOESN’T have a vagina? Referencing Paetron at any point, even jokingly was in poor taste and is bad writing.

So no, as far as I’m concerned I don’t care that the two ONLY things I care about in a game on this site are listed in tags. You’re going to be a cock tease – you have nothing but brassy bitches who are either ungrateful, way too old to be chasing this asshole, or going to get him arrested for murder. There’s a FINE LINE to what you can push in an actual Dominant before he WILL either show you the door, or put you through it. You don’t know how to write the male to be dom, or the females to be smart enough (in showing attaction to the male in general rather than mixed messages all over the fucking place – and you DO NOT do that in a HAREM) to know where that line is. You cannot write well enough for me to be engaged with these assholes. So this WILL be the only time I ever download this game.

* Showing the scenes with MC getting his ass kicked by his father for defending his sister was also NOT NECESSARY and will do NOTHING but piss your audience off. You alluded to the fact his parents were shit. Great. Fine, fair enough he’s emo because he’s scarred. His sister’s a thorny rancid bitch because she’s scarred… whoopie. Why the fuck you decided to actually write that scene I have no clue. There’s grim dark in espousing THAT it happened; and then there’s needless edgelord. Guess which line you crossed? There’s a reason the law around fantasy is a grey area but the wording states NOT TO GLORIFY. That scene went way too far. You want to spend the entire game either making this fuckwit every girls bitch just to get laid, or their punching bag. Emotionally and probably otherwise. Have at it, but that’s not the genre you profess the game to be in the tags. Harem means the girls VIE for him. With MORE than just their bodies. Calling him dense as fuck a few times doesn’t excuse how these toxic self absorbed evil assholes treat the poor bastard.

There was maybe 2 ACTUAL sex scenes, and a blow job. In the ENTIRE thing. Such a dirth in lewd content that ALSO DOES NOT cater to the power fantasy/kink that Harem & Impregnation are meant to be, is NOT worth what you put the player through just reading your pseudo philosophical bullshit. For at least a good hour or two. As mentioned in my previous review which has at this point not been posted yet and will be less detailed, The first sex scene in the game is FEMDOM where she threatens MC with a fucking KNIFE. Who the unholy fuck finds THAT attractive??? If you do Dev, I really don’t want to know. Nor do I want to see your therapy bill… The second involves a girl that “Quiet” dumps MC basically because she was toxic and realized it. Whom his sister BLAMES him for getting with again – irrationally. There is ONE blow job scene involving said Tsudere character who’s basically geared to be a more Alt version of Main Girl from WVM. There’s one blowjob that can go one of two ways. Involving basically Kat Von D or whatever the hell her name was, and another goth bitch. Also, in several cases it didn’t matter what choices you make. Most of the choices lead to the EXACT same fucking dialogue. I will ALSO say to you the exact same thing I wrote to WVM when they pull the same Superhero bullshit with their berserker MC; He. Is. NOT. Wolverine. You can’t make him stupid enough to chase down an asshole with a GUN – and THEN talk about being afraid to get injured and ruin his goddamned career. You ever hear of Tonal Dissonance? Jesus Christ.

Decide whether all of these girls actually WANT to be attached to MC. Looking at his design; it’ll be either because he’s rippd and pretty, has a huge dong, or a bigger wallet. I don’t give a crap WHY, but they NEED to acknowledge it. Kara is quite literally the prime example of WHY most men with half a brain cell to spare won’t date a single mother. Too many mixed messages; and he’s barely in College. He’s not going to be chasing the tail of some 30 year old twit that’s already made her mistakes. Who has that kind of baggage. He has X hundreds of other options according to you – but fuck me if I could tell that any of them actually wanted to get down to business. More of them treat him like he’s the chewed gum they stepped in. You do need to fix that, if you want to salvage ANY hope for this game. I’d also love to know why the holy hell Emily is on the list of girls? Because the ONLY girls on the character list at all SHOULD BE THE ROMANCEABLE ONES!

From what little I’ve played – in the Tutorial; Joke or not, some things ARE NOT FUNNY. Threats of violence to get people to sign up… right. Brilliant idea. It’s NOT a great sales pitch, nor is it likely to earn more than a morbid chuckle at best, and it will actively put off a fair few from actually supporting your endeavors. Bravo. Here’s my answer: Come try it. Please.

But then what can I expect from a writer that a) falsely accuses the MC – and puts him in jail for UNSPECIFIED reasons. Then in the very first sex scene with a girl (who is Possessive of him – IN A FUCKING HAREM GAME…) She threatens him with a knife. Fuck. ABSOLUTELY. Right off. With that. She knows he’s gone to prison. She should be aware he might not be the type to take that lightly now, or that he wasn’t before. There are BETTER ways to indulge the bullshit FemDom kink. Also if you’re going to include that, LET MC TURN THE TABLES FULLY. Most players if male (and most will be) very likely would rather BE DOMINANT. You should not make that sort of assumption – and you DAMNED SURE shouldn’t have it be the first fucking sex scene! Fuck off Doubly so for the I’m on the pill bullshit when IMPREGNATION is clearly visible in your tags. I don’t care if it’s a “prologue” scene. Neither presents well for the long run of your story.

You also said there would be Stats like Strength Intelligence ETC, that would be permanent: When? Because the only things I’ve yet seen pop up are Cockiness and Humility. Stats actually make it sound like an RPG with replayability options. I would have appreciated that. So hopefully it will be soon. Right now you have two and a half strikes with me. With the .5 being because more than HALF the roster of girls’ stats in the Extras lead to an ignore Rollback screen rather than telling me who the fuck they are. There’s also that tidbit about “Not all featured characters are love interests.” If you mean the girls; why the hell are they in the game? The guys, I get – though you do have the LGBT+ thing… so I wouldn’t put it past you. Turning it off shouldn’t deny the character who’s trans = The character in that case just SHOULDN’T BE trans. Make them an actual GIRL. That’s what they want to be anyway… Job done. You don’t piss off the players that don’t want to deal with that content/you don’t deny that a trans character exists, for the people that DO want that content; you also don’t lock off a girl in a harem game, who should otherwise be available because some assholes want to pander to what is effectively a mental disability. But what do I know. Oh right; only about the first line of women. Because again, Ignore/Rollback…

Fuck me.

Straight up, I could give two shits about the sports aspect. WVM does the same with basketball; only that game’s done it the right way. It focus’ more on the relationships and the pregnancy/sex scenes. Also, it doesn’t matter how hot your renders are if your characters are all assholes. Telling each other to shut up and fuck off all the time; having Diana be that hard a read as far as whether I’m going to get anywhere with her (Yes I have the patch on – and no the dumbassed Best Friend/Sister bullshit that EVERY DEV puts in their game because Paetron is a twat about it, DOES NOT mean she shouldn’t be pursueable in game) Falls under why the fuck is she there? Because she ain’t Jiminey Cricket. You want me to invest in these characters, give me a better reason. Learn what proper banter is. Because IT IS NOT HURTFUL.

This asshole JUST got out of prison and you’re talking to him with characters that have a history like NOTHING changed. You’ve never been to prison. I’ve never been to prison; but I DO have a fighting mindset. He would NOT tolerate half the things you’re making his friends say to him. [That’s the reason putting him in prison to start with – and warning him not to lose his temper while placing him in one of the literally most violent competitive sports imaginable is RETARDED – IE: You are actively holding the MC back from the start, against “his will.” Which would be to get somewhere other than I’m guessing your fantastical version of Detroit?] That’s not how you start a story: It’s how you END it.