Trouble in Paradise [v1.9] [Syko134]

Dude – that last cliffhanger is EXACTLY why you DON’T overpower the fucking antagonists. He DIDN’T need a half blooded “little sister” who even though he won the genetic lottery (according to your own FUCKING LORE!!!) Is SOMEHOW “stronger” than he is. Fuck right off with that.

You already put this dipshit on a time limit. Then buggered off from the harem just to play edgelord for a season – don’t think I’ve fucking forgotten what I wrote before just because some dumbassed moderater gets their panties in a twist and decides to purge the comments for whatever bullshit reason, and yes mods: If you keep deleting my comments and all my effort, I WILL keep calling you out on it – you have done MORE THAN ENOUGH to fuck the MC over. I gave you a few ways to actually make this storyline more viable, and in line with the harem genre. I gave you a way to write yourself OUT of the corner you put the MC in with a retarded fucking TIME LIMIT on his lifespan. There are ways within the power structure and the lore you’ve created that MC’s base power SHOULD make him Immortal. But that doesn’t mean everyone around him is. Hence the reasoning of the Harem… it’s not that hard to figure out.

You do NOT endanger the harem. Ever. There is no point to adding the tag if you’re going to play Shroddinger’s Cat with your cast. You do NOT kill off or grieviously wound ANY member of the harem. This genre isn’t about Drama dipshit. Get that through your fucking skull. You don’t get to ask me if I want to impregnate (so far only the SECOND fucking girl) and THEN BLOW THE DAMNED BUILDING UP!!! With all of them inside it.

There is. NO. WAY. TO. WIN. If the enemy knows the hero’s plans and or location to FUCK THAT OVER. You are literally just writing in the retarded dark souls Game Over screen, before you’ve even remotely finished the bloody story. Seriously, unless you somehow “evolve” this ass to be completely fucking immortal; he’s already lost. Several times over. Because you have no clue how not to ham-string your hero. Gah.

* There’s NO POINT in asking me if I want to begin things with the fucking twin Mom character, OR ANYONE ELSE, if you’re going to be this dense when you write story scenes. There WON’T BE A RELATIONSHIP TO PURSUE IF THEY’RE ALL DEAD! At this point, I’m going to refer to you as the Nikola Tesla of Retardation. Literally, because all you have done from the start of the game is come up with so many damned ways to actively hold the story and the hero back from actually being GOOD. In spite of it’s genuine potential; which is what’s so bloody frustrating.

First, taking Alyssa OUT of the game does not fix the idea that she should have just JOINED THE FUCKING HAREM!!! (Put her back INTO the game or I’m going to be even more pissed with you in general) * Okay = maybe next time don’t word it like you’re writing a character out of the damned game for no reason… put it in brackets or something that she’s still a love interest. Jesus Christ dude. I mean I was hoping you weren’t that stupid… but I played all of last season.

Second: This season is EXACTLY why you NEVER break the Harem! If the girls all missed him so damned much and can’t function without him – You are spending WAYYYY too much time making them SUCK at showing it. : / (You do realize most players are here for the H Scenes and the tittilation, right??? Guess what a grim dark story doesn’t do for moods)

You also nerfed his powers with a bullshit “cure” that’s not even that effective if it only gives him a week… for what??? I GAVE you a better way to work in a power that DOESN’T fuck him over. I gave you a better story line that KEEPS the grim dark, has BETTER REASONING – and a heads up to all the girls SPECIFICALLY so they WON’T actually BE pissed at him… but still have to PRETEND to be. Jesus. Why I bothered I’ll never know. It’s clear you either don’t know what the hell you want out of this game – because it’s NOT a harem game if you BREAK THE HAREM: AND THAT INCLUDES WRITING A PERFECTLY FINE GIRL OUT OF THE DAMNED GAME!!! – OR you know exactly what you want to do, and it’s obviously to confuse the fuck out of the audience. If you don’t want to use my ideas, fair enough, but that’s on you.

ALL of the girls need to piss off with being “mad” at him; that DOES NOT justify being bitchy to a guy you want the audience to believe they STILL WANT TO BONE AND BREED WITH!!! Fix that. ASAP. Because if it goes on longer than one more update, there won’t be more than that LAST chance from me.

Also: FUCK OFF WITH PUTTING HANNAH WITH LUCAS! Or insinuating you still might. For any reason. Lucas is the Best Friend Character. In. A. Harem. Game! = He DOES NOT GET LAID ON SCREEN, OR GET A LOVE INTEREST! Hannah not being MC’s girlfriend by this point is only because you skipped most of the six month time gap and didn’t give the player yet the OPTION to MAKE HER HIS GIRLFRIEND. Jackass. You need to do that before this update ends or WHY THE FUCK did you even keep her alive in the first place?!? She DOES NOT belong with or to Lucas. He can move on, or not. Doesn’t matter – he’s been enough a prick to MC that he should just straight up be dead. So come the fuck on. Use your damned head. It’s a harem game. It’s marked in the tags. That means NO ONE but MC gets the girls, or gets laid. If you can’t even get that right, why the hell are you designing games? Hanna had BETTER tell LUCAS she’s NOT interested in him that way – and actually let MC make some moves. Because other than that you’ve AGAIN, BROKEN THE HAREM! (Or actually write them both the fuck out of the game) Either works. I would prefer to gain Hannah as an LI and give her a chance to rebuild her life with someone that CAN protect/understand her… but you’re not listening to me anyway, so what does it matter.
[If “Hannah” is NOT Hannah – you have an easy out. Lucas can accept the loss; for what it is. Then realize that if MC is the one that makes this “Hannah” feel the way the other one did about Lucas… she belongs to MC. You are done. Problem solved. Harem is intact, and no convoluted bullshit necessary. Lucas can play up the stoic tough noble guy that lets “his” girl be happy… because she’s really NOT his girl anymore. He GOT the closure he wanted knowing that she’s still alive in some sense… but he also needs to move on to HEAL from that trauma. He’s NOT going to do that by trying to claw back her ghost, when all he’s ever going to get are wisps of her memories. That belong to someone else now]

Putting Olivia back with her husband was just stupid – though I am glad you at least said she didn’t do anything with him… because it would be another case of why the fuck was she even a character in the first place, if you had let them fuck like a husband and wife should. So what if MC wasn’t there. She should be living either with her sister (and been SMART enough to make that choice her damned self) or on her own, thanks to the little time she had with MC ACTUALLY INFLUENCING HER TO STAND UP FOR HERSELF.

Again. You get exactly ONE more update. Alyssa and Alice need to be put firmly IN the harem. Hannah issue needs to be resolved. Whatever you’re going to do with Evelyn (and who the fuck is Emily??? You are starting to have too many characters to keep track of) should be done. Anna and Lucy and Violet all need to make their plays to make MC aware that they are still his women. It DOES NOT get to JUST be him apologizing. You put this asshole through HELL; and he’s still dying. Dipshit. THEY ALL need to say they’re sorry they treated him like shit too.