The Swordbearer [v0.9] [Caramel Cowboy]

You know what; nevermind.

You are absolutely, unequivocally fucking retarded to make one of the girls that HAS a Heart Capable entry in the journals a fucking vampire. (AFTER Amaris monologuing about how he doesn’t want peace and ISN’T his father… Fuck off) If you’re going to pull that shit this early, you really shouldn’t bother writing any sort of long term story. If you’re going to be that blatant about it, why the fuck was she even on the list?!? What, is she supposed to be the one GOOD vampire. You gonna claim she’s some sort of equivalent vegan? Dumbass.

I don’t think you’re ever going to take this story seriously, I now very much doubt it’s going to be any sort of harem I want a part in. There are too many people who have romantic ties elsewhere; and you’ve straight up warned you’re death flagging probably half the fucking cast. Yippee.

Here’s a thing about vampires for you Caramel Cowboy: Bite Me. >.< For literally almost everything in this current update. Again, half the girls that should be having hearts don't. No girl should be pursuing ANYONE else but the MC; and none of them need implied "romantic" entanglements with the other fucking characters. It DOES NOT endear me to them. If Vera's going to die, fine. Fair enough. She's an archer facing vampires. It's not hard to see coming. I would be massively MORE pissed with you than I already am (and I am pretty pissed off at that bullshit ending – unless you intend to turn the fucker INTO a vampire and make him work on killing Amaris from the inside. Which would work IF as above, not every vampire is "bound by blood" or actually bad. It's literally the only way you could save this story at this point as far as I'm concerned. It's still a stupid twist that does more to undermine everything you've been working toward than it does anything to add to the story. And no, one reference in the library to a Shadow Knight doesn't fix it because you might've foreshadowed this was going to be your intent. Why the fuck would you give him a holy sword; talk about whether or not he's going to sack himself for the sake of the world or not, and then pull this absolute tripe! You either massively tipped your damned hand for anyone remotely willing to READ the damned story, or you've written yourself into a corner that isn't necessary) if you pulled the same with Lyra. Because she is one of the ones we're supposed to invest in romantically. Otherwise, what the fuck are the hearts even for???

The king does NOT get to threaten to kill off literally the MOST IMPORTANT character in the game. He should NOT be stupid enough to imprison him – and the MC SHOULD have the balls to be able to say if you think you can find anyone else to weild the sword before the vampires hand you all of your asses, go for it you jackass. This. This is why you do not do classist bullshit unless you intend to a) make the MC immune to it, or b) put him on the same goddamned level! At this point he could marry Ester and she could allow him to by hand-fasting marry any other girl as his consort he wanted, when he does save the day… and it would still be not worth it. That's how badly you've bungled just about everything you're trying to build in the lore of your world.

One. One more update, and I will tap out if either Liliana dies; or you make MC her Scooby Snack, because you're still set on making him look like an incompetent doofus who'd rather get laid than be good at his destined ONE JOB.

First things first – It took you 5 FUCKING CHAPTERS TO EVEN GET THE MAIN CHARACTER WHERE HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE.

Second: Too much blue balling – Tied to that: Fuck Pulling out. Ever. You are missing two important tags for a game with this many women, and that much cock teasing: Harem. Pregnancy. [Fuck multiple endings, and fuck a dating sim. This game SHOULD be a HAREM!]

Especially since you designed the main character as a chosen one arctype who so far is dense as fuck. Untrained, and mostly good at barely not getting his arse handed to him. Who chases too much pussy he hasn’t even remotely gotten outside of side characters. Lyra and Talisa or whatever her name is DO NOT need to imply lesbianism (or even get as close to MAYBE as you do) * If they are main girls and this IS a dating sim; no bueno. If it’s a harem = STILL no bueno.
I swear to fuck if I have just spent near to seven chapters trying to win affection with all the girls possible and you make me choose just one at the end, that is just bullshit. You might as well have not rendered almost every other girl in the game at that point, stuck to a small list and presented their bios at the beginning. Then I could choose which path I want, with who.

The way you’ve done it says it should be a harem – and at some point I bet I’m not the only one who’s going to be pissed if it’s not. If MC IS the chosen one; the only one who can stop whatever bullshit you pull out of your ass [and frankly fuck it; you don’t want to deal with pregnancy = Make HIM the daywalker, who can wield the damned blade because he’s willing to fight against his own kind. Make his father the “quiet” one (You have way over done it by talking up his mother and we don’t even know her fucking name… nevermind why exactly MC should hope to have half her skill. We’ve seen her in like ONE freaking cut scene you couldn’t even be bothered to render her FIGHTING!) and make that because he was a vampire. With a conscience. Make them BOTH important. Nevermind she trained him so he trained MC. Fuck you for ALL of that. Girls by and large in the middle ages DID NOT FIGHT. You can’t do a period piece and blatantly ignore the parts of actual history in that era that you don’t bloody like.

At this point, I’ve barely gotten to the capital to start training. So you better freaking get on that. Ivar seems to know who I am and what needs to be done. So get to it. Make MC BECOME the Chosen One, or fuck off with it. Because if I get to chapter 10 and he’s STILL getting his arse kicked or acting like a jackass, I’m going to assume you’re not even taking your own story seriously and it won’t have the one “Multiple” ending I actually want to see. [All Of The Girls. Are MC’s!!!] The glowing magic blade shit is only cool IF you make a main character that actually fucking knows what the hell he’s doing with it. That should have been his backstory RIGHT FROM THE START. It SHOULD be a requirement for the goddamned blade to call him WORTHY! Fuck the dream sequence bitch just for a head trip – and fuck off with all the dreamsequence comedy routines. They’re not funny.