Let the Nightshine In [v0.15 Ch. 2] [Sieglinnde]

A few narrative branches with some definite problems; and possibilities.

In the vanilla path for example you have Arianna get insanely jealous about Queen (nobody would name a child that, if they didn’t want them to end up a psychopath by the way – pick a real one and have that be her nickname, for fuck sakes) so she automatically assumes MC is going to cheat on her… and STILL forgives him. You literally wrote: “I can’t be mad at him.”

Potential: HAREM. Seriously dude – you write him as a masochist asshole that “likes” NTR – and even involve it both ways, which at least is refreshing if you’re going to turn the main girl into basically a super slut anyway (I would say whore, but they get paid, and she hasn’t… yet) With Arianna’s backstory of her Mom’s divorce you actually wrote in the perfect excuse in reasoning with the above mentioned I can’t be mad at him line, to make her be okay with becoming a Cuckqueen as the Lead Girl in MC’s eventual harem. There is NO REASON to deny the PLAYER when you render all these girls so damned attractive, just because it’s a “Vanilla Route.” Which I believe you give at least one choice at the beginning, and one choice a ways in, as far as whether we want to keep going or go NTR. (Appreciated as well, but the blackmail route is STILL basically NTR, so there AREN’T as many path divisions as you think)

Her Mom broke when her dad left. He cheated and the SECRET broke the marriage when it came out; Hence as long as A) MC DOES NOT leave her, and B) He is open about who and what he’s doing, Ariana does NOT want to be abandoned and slide back to her old ways. Like her Mom. So she’ll allow MC to create a harem in which she can participate. She does NOT get to Femdom, or even mention it in this route. She should want the MC to feel he has the right to be absolutely Dominant (I don’t even like that you went the insulting route during the NTR path bud. Not cool if she still actually thinks so damned highly of MC) This would create an ACTUAL third path, that would also give something to EVERY type of player, and probably garner you a LOT less push back on the content most would rather avoid.

You can still do the NTR Route – but I will point out to caution that a Harem is NOT an “Open” Relationship. Ever. The girls ALL sign on to it, with the intent to be Loyal. For as long as they are members of the harem. It’s a different route entirely, with no blending. That’s the way it would work. Arianna can still do the baby crazy bit, and be possessive like she was in the 3way scene with Mallory… and it would still make sense; but she WILL allow her man to have any girl he wants. Because in this route she KNOWS that he is worth more than she is. That he can have Queen, that Iris is intrigued, and that Mallory has always secretly wanted him [You’ve hinted thus far… and even Tessia seems like she’s be DTF MC if you’d actually render the option] No girl – including the mothers necessarily – need to be denied. Everyone is happy because those that want NTR content have that path. Those that want “vanilla” have that path (though I would also add a 3way or a quad option as a blended path where it’s still romance but can involve Queen at least, and maybe Mallory. Call it Harem Lite. Because yeah 3 Girlfriends still count as one) And the people that want a full harem and not to be denied content with any attractively rendered woman in game, can also have that. It’s really not going to be that much more work, considering you didn’t even render half the NTR scenes you could/should have. The party night with Tyrone and Marty you just basically skipped over and said things happened. Which I find a bit lazy, but whatever.

This is just a suggestion, and at the end I wasn’t satisfied with the vanilla route since Arianna is just as insecure, jealous and on top of that Controlling as the MC is Insecure and jealous on the NTR route. I also don’t like being treated like the dickless wonder in either the blackmail or the NTR routes. I think Queen is a trap in Vanilla to bend it to NTR regardless, the way you wrote Arianna to be; and it does not have to be that way. I also think it was stupid that if Queen ever wanted MC at all that she shouldn’t just tell him and take her shot… instead of playing tonsil hockey with captain stereotypical big black cock. That’s a little counter to her whole romance narrative. I also don’t think she needed to have any actual romantic partners before MC, if he’s what she really wanted. They can focus on other things besides dating. You mentioned a dildo, but frankly if Queen really wants an honest shot, I’d say the best way to do it is to re-write her as the consumate virgin who actually waited for MC the whole time. Because she felt so badly about betraying what they could have had, and wants it back. There’s the fact it would properly completely contrast against his slut of a girlfriend (no matter which path, her past is basically I had a lot of sex, and I have too high a libido – which built as MC is, FUCK OFF WITH THAT!) Which would give Queen the endearment value to actually BE the vanilla path going forward. The real one. Not the possessive psycho I want to own you, but I’m going to go bipolar on you the moment I don’t like what you say Arianna.

You can all feel free to disagree with me in the comments. You will anyway. This is just how I’d improve and expand the game. Other than a few minor points it’s not terrible. Some of the narrative is a bit stereotypical, and I don’t think you really needed to add the moms into Lewd scenes with other adults. Just because MC or Arianna might allow a 3way does NOT mean their parents had to do the same damned thing with each other. The apple may not always fall far from the tree, but it doesn’t always fall right at the roots either. Jesus. I’ll never be a fan of NTR content I don’t get full control of in every aspect (or that involves a married woman getting into MC’s harem) but I gave this a shot to see what all the fuss was about. At least you can play it straight on a “vanilla” path… but there are points you can see where it would be easy to believe Arianna’s still potentially cheating. It just doesn’t show you that she is. I think that might be written a little more clearly to definitively say she is not. Like I said above, I gave my suggestions, and now you can all take your cheap shots if you want.