Fragile Innocence [Ch. IV v0.02] [Dark Love]

I’ll throw in to add that NTR and Harem as tags tend to directly oppose each other. When I tried this last, the actual RPGmaker style of the game made it hard to figure out where the heck I was meant to go to get anywhere. So I probably missed things just trying to navigate. So really, for a VN style game (even and especially a kinetic one) Renpy does tend to do better overall. I don’t mind RPG style mechanics – but the sandbox and figuring out what to click on to make things work to get to the next quest will screw with the audience.

I’d also call the title either pretentious or a big arsed red flag. By the end, one way or another the girl’s NOT going to be innocent. (You all know what content we’re here to see) Which is why I’d actually have structured her to be the End Goal; and left it strictly at the MALE protagonist. Let her be the Princess In Another Castle as far as the timey wimey stuff and it will be a lot easier to stomach if the “NTR” tag is whether the prince stays loyal; or builds that Harem that his “destined First Girl” may learn to accept. As long as their bond stays strong, which you might implement through magic so they can talk to/reassure each other – or frankly keep secrets in the shifty way that may also break their bond since you’re probably gonna stick with the NTR aspect. It would grant the pair means to build the RPG points in relationship at the same time the Male MC and the Female MC can bond with others. Though trying to tell the story from multiple perspectives is only more chance you’ll muck up a lot of plot points. Or screw the player over with choices they really don’t want – that they also won’t know directly how to avoid. [NTR unless your goal is to tell the story of a breaking relationship to start, and the drive to find a new one that fits better – which NTR devs usually never warn about, or do it from ONLY the Girl’s side… – should always be two things properly. First, completely avoidable if the audience so chooses. Second: Entirely within the PLAYER’S control. That’s the best way to make it even semi palatable – It can be a VERY polarizing thing and I’d catagorize it as overall a “thrill” factor with more negatives to drawing in a sustained audience than most Devs should really want from a business standpoint, but that’s just me] The Story becomes needlessly complicated but not in a good way when you split the focal point to more than one or at the max two “driving forces.” As to navigation, in Renpy you can just code the scenes to put the MCs where you need them to be, which cuts out the player’s guessing game of Where’s Waldo for the next quest trigger point. Simplified doesn’t always mean worse quality. I’d more consider it in this case the anti frustration route. That might actually let more people see where you want to take this story in the long run. But again, it’s your call.

Game’s a pass for me until I can actually get to where every quest wants me to go. Up to that point, I’d never complete any of it, to figure out if I even can get the ending I’d personally want to see (Harem – Every. Girl. Pregnant/married to Male MC) * There REALLY shouldn’t need to be any other ending if you’re going to add the Harem tag. However if you want to add the thrill of will she stay loyal; it’s first not that thrilling unless you’re a girl – it’s actually a massive trust issue for most guys these days that’s fucking over our ability to trust the dating pool in RL – and next I’d say make a very small pool of actually competitive candidates that can be viable against the Prince MC. With logical/faith based reasons for why she’d allow pursuit and forge a new love with the goal that it work out. DO NOT make the audience question her actual loyalty – but since you’re doing fracture time stuff where they’re in different eras (or however you split them apart: which is still a STUPID idea if you want the audience to trust HER at all by the end of it – Most of us will be Male) you can effectively argue that her trust she can get back dwindles if Main Male MC takes too long to find a way to do it. Like pursuing other women. [In this case I would deliniate a Harem path includes time to do BOTH without consequence. Either because Princess Girl is that in LOVE with main Male, or because she has that much faith that things will work out for them in general. A little naivety is not necessarily bad, and can be endearing] * That last part I know is how you’re going to add the NTR tag; but you REALLY shouldn’t make the Princess dumb enough or “innocent” enough to basically walk headlong into a trap as rapebait. That doesn’t speak well of a love story, or anyone involved in the game’s story.