Detective Necro [v0.55 HotFix] [BlackHandGames]

This one is an interesting enough premise; but the problem for me is more than one issue. First, you mention the character is in an open relationship – potentially with several willing women… and yet you don’t put in Harem. It should be a harem. Multiple endings are still possible with the harem tag added. Only it makes the audience less uncertain about pursuit choices. It doesn’t say there can’t be paths to go dark at the end.

Which leads me to the next point: The dead mage. Who is currently vested in returning to life using MC as the vessel.
Which rather fucks the point of pursuing any other women than the ones who know about that plan. It’s going to screw things with the half orc and the dark elf very likely. The goblin and the female cop and anyone that knows THE MC. Who doesn’t know the original sorcerer (which is why it’s better to NOT focus on a dead character – even if the star of your show IS a Necromancer)

Having him fuck up with the first spirit he sees – who of course should be a romanceable character who can be brought back into her functional body at some point, somhow … and will probably be the carrot goal if I see things right – was not a great hook to convince me of this Sorcerer’s supposed power. The intro of the Buddy Cop’s family (with a wife that frankly SHOULD join the harem – a sister who wants to, and the reporter daughter of MC’s ex chief in the middle is a little freaking convoluted. I would vote to gain/keep them ALL however. Especially if you can swing that they’re each useful to the MC’s main goal in game. IE the reporter should definitely be. The wife can be consoled since you’ve basically death flagged the partner, and Auntie oh my has always wanted MC’s baby inside her… so extra morale support never hurts)

I’d like to see getting the female cop involved (perhaps as a means to make amends for the rather quick branch switch – that wasn’t MC’s fault and YOU KNOW THAT… So why in the UNHOLY fuck are you making her be pissed off at MC for something the PLAYER can’t control??? – so that romance that was barely just on it’s way to MAYBE starting can get back to not being derailed five seconds after a date had been confirmed, I’m just spit balling) The mom/sister character for the Mentor Necromancer [Who didn’t need to be a star wars stay away from my sister reference thank you very much] and again… the elf that MC actually impregnated. (On a side note: Fuck you oh so very much for making her abort it. Especially because that impregnation scene also fucks over a relationship and damages the MC’s mental state, by your own freaking CANON! He did not even get to know she was pregnant… Do you have ANY idea how much that pisses me off? If you want pregnancy content as an option = PLAYER CHOICE! Always. Every. Damned. Time. You have no idea what buttons you’re stepping on in RL with your audience when you come up with that bullshit. So don’t. Ever. Do that. She IS STILL pregnant. Or will be again, very soon – with NO running this fucking time. Hint: If she IS still pregnant then you have a viable reason for her to A) be angered with the MC, for “fucking up her life” – even if he has the viable argument it was as much HER choice, and B) she’s got a MUCH easier time of sticking with the group and getting the scout based info she’s tailing the MC for. Your storyline becomes that much more believeable in 2 seconds. That’s the only way you fix that fuck up. It did make me rage quit the game… and it will be why I’d hesitate to see where the hell else you want to go with this already REACHING storyline. You chose to go for jarring as fuck, and shock value. You can fix that point. It’s not hard. The key is NOT to piss your audience off. You lose supporters that way)

End of the day, I thought other than the fact I can see this story becoming a trainwreck just based off the fact I do not at all trust the Dead Man in MC’s head to be okay with staying that way – or the supernatural big bad you seem to be unclear about, that MC is supposed to somehow beat, with gimped magic ability at the moment. Add in the point I freely admit was triggering to me, and mini ranted over, and I am not at all certain you can salvage what really SHOULD have just been a good super cop harem builder – with pregnancy and pagan marriages to supernatural host of wild creatures as the overarching end goal. I’d like to see it happen, as there is some potential… but boy howdy, do you have some work to do and most especially with one or more specific characters before I’d trust it enough to try a continued download. Best I can say is, I’ll keep a look out. But I’m not holding my breath, and if it takes me selling my soul to see the changes I want… I’d have to check my back pocket. Or a little leather bound black book. I know I left it somewhere around. Here’s lookin’ at you kid; no wait… that’s just the eyeball on the cover. Baby, baby, can’t you hear my heart beat? Or is that Telltale in the background… It’s all fun and games, until somebody loses an-