Desire of Fate [Ep.3 v1] [KKpotato]

Having completed what I take to be the most current update – which did not as far as I can tell add anything much from the last time I saw it updated by the way – I will try to offer some constructive criticism and observations more kindly than done previously.

– First: Is this a harem game or not? Because if it is = you really do NOT get to limit the amount of wives MC can have, and then say the stipulation is he has to be Emporer to break it; and then make the path to becoming emporer so damned convoluted that no one is going to figure out if they’ll even succeed by the end of the game. Even with the walkthrough. If you added a stipulation that he can break the set cap with X state, it means you know the cap is bullshit in the first place and will piss your audience off. Four wives, does not mean no girlfriends on the side. No lovers. There are different names, and all are commited relationships. There ARE ways around every freaking rule you want to impose. There’s no need to write your characters into corners.

– As to the walkthrough: EVERY. CHOICE. THAT COUNTS. SHOULD. BE. CLEARLY. MARKED. IN. GREEN!
Killing the one son of a bitch or not, is not clear as to what the hell it gets you. Because it’s not clearly beneficial to have the girl in power – if it complicates MC’s life by getting him fucked by the “cops” (or if it’s an introduction properly to Kate, as a Blue Knight = Say so!!!) Because that WOULD be beneficial in a HAREM GAME.

– The stats: Should not matter. At all. They can count toward HOW you approach the end goal, and we’ll get to that. It should not EVER be a question of barring content your players might want to see. That’s just assholish. No one’s going to count it as “replayability” just to take maybe 3 different choices across the board, to be able to see the one or two scenes they might get locked out of for not being smart enough/dominant enough/ or too much Karma (which shouldn’t freaking be a stat at all) You could make them define what type of Emporer MC is set to become. [On that note: why bother with Dominance at all, if you’re not going to make ALL of the girls LISTEN to it. Mina does not get to be a raving psycho because she wants to see if he’s actually going to fucking put her through the wall. That’s not Sub, that’s not brat, and it’s not princess. It’s called being too stupid to live]

Jessica: Tied to that = screw the idea at all that this woman has ANY power to stop the game in it’s fucking tracks just because she says MC is not good enough to marry Lilith. That is the dumbest way to give her WAY too much influence she SHOULD NOT FREAKING HAVE that I have ever seen done. Bend her ass over the table and BREED her (fuck the infertile bullshit) and THEN tell me she thinks MC is not “good enough.” He’s GOING TO BE THE FUCKING EMPORER! There IS NO OTHER END GAME PATH BUT THAT. You don’t want to design a game ending where the MC fails and ANYONE else takes that throne. You’d basically be sending up a double flipped bird to anyone that bothered to download your game. That’s not just short-sighted in the extreme, it’s borderline suicidal in job standards. No one would trust your work again to bother subscribing if you’re going to pull that shit.

You have over complicated things; introduced females who are already taken – and put several of them on the back burner for basically no reason, and made it impossible for the player to tell if they’re even WINNING. Just with four women. Samira is in the shadows and fuck the idea she’s going to be “difficult.” No. Just no. It’s a HAREM. She’s one of the FOUR FEMALES YOU NEED TO MARRY. Period. That’s why they’re in pink, right??? So she’s NOT going to be difficult. There’s Lola; who wants to be MC’s girl… and can’t because BULLSHIT. She WILL BE. When MC is the Emporer, if not before. There’s Camilla – who why the fuck did you even bother introducing her, if she’s going to be Samir’s girl?!? If she’s not going to stay that way then fine. But really, she should still be the blushing virgin that’s tying otherwise Mr. Smooth’s pants in a knot with promises she doesn’t intend to surrender. Which of course the MC will find the key to make her. I already covered Jessica. She’s not even on the god damned list to gain points with. That’s how stupid her character is as far as relevance to this game, and exactly how much influence she should truly have on it. You do NOT get to make her the ultimate ice queen, at the same time as trying to convince the audience she gives any sort of flying fuck about the MC. The two DO NOT COMPUTE! Tonal dissonance.

Lisa: Should not seem like chasing her is going to be a punishment if you’re going to arbitrarily decide for the player that because BACKSTORY, she matters as a goal to the MC. First she fucked off before the game even started to follow her own dreams, so that’s a point of you do what you want but you obviously didn’t give a fuck about my feelings. Not a great intro to her character – and further SHOULD NOT BE TIED AS AN INSTANT YOU CANNOT REFUSE THIS GIRL IF YOU TAKE DEBBY! I swear to god if you put her in the game just to fuck with the players’ heads because you understand that most players want as many girls as they can have who play this genre; stop. Being. Assholes! If we’re not supposed to chase her, fine. IF we CAN chase her, leave that be as you did the work > you win. Flawless Victory! Mommy doesn’t get to say fuck all about it. Again = The politics in this game DO NOT MATTER. They are there for spice to the story, and for you to create a self imposed challenge to write your way around. Harem does NOT have fail states. It’s not the sort of genre you’re meant to fuck up. At all. It’s meant to be: Do you want this girl. Do you want to go to the effort of chasing them all. Do you want to breed them all by the end into eternity for the rest of your lives. Yes or No? That simple.

The Mini Games: This one I’m not holding back on. I never will: Fuck. You. All. Every single one of you that came up with them. Who thought it was a good idea to put them into your game. Jesus. I don’t give a rat’s ass if it’s simple or hard. They DO NOT belong in what basically amounts to a VN. Also as a bonus: You can’t put Jessica on the list, so that we could viably “convince” her with Sexual Healing not to be a raving bitch, but Miss Ridiculously Massive Tits is somehow worthy of a spot?!? Come on… Best I can say is, stop writing the MC into a corner. Stop trying to screw with your audience’s head as to whether they can even successfully complete the game. Stop overcomplicating things in general. If you mark the answers that ARE important, ALL OF THE WAY to the end with up to date walkthrough mods, then fine. Even still, you should really just code the damned answers for what they give you. No walkthroughs needed. It could still be complex enough to be compelling, without being convoluted enough to be a labyrinth we’ll never find the exit from. I’d also question if you’re going to make Chisa or whatever her name is, a super soldier as well. Because she’s a fairly chunky monkey compared to the other somewhat “idealistically” (Ridiculously? depending on your tastes) rendered women in the game. These sort of games are a power fantasy, and don’t really need the DUFF.

* On the one side, I said I’d try to be more constructive and polite… so you can take this as either I’m invested enough in the game and it’s outcomes to be this passionate, or you can just say fuck it and call me a troll. But then if you do that, I don’t want to read a damn thing lecturing me in game if I do bother downloading the next chapter, about ambition or determination. Or hard work. Because if you take that second path bub, guess what you lack?